Here is me sharing my heart and being very honest about fear. Some of you know me and I believe that I am not alone in thinking and feeling this way. Over the last 8 ish years I have become very aware of my fear of fear. Let me unpack this a bit. I have this very warped blend of a fear of success and a fear of failure at the exact same time. I know…messed up right! My fear of failure is not in the act of failing. I dig an opportunity to grow through and from failing. I think a lot of us never reach our full potential in Christ because we won’t risk more and put ourselves out there. I love to learn from my mistakes and grow as a leader from them. I also love to share openly about my experiences with others in hopes someone might save a step along the way. My real fear of failure is the leading up to and chance I might not have it all together. Now, here is the part about fear of success. I have this fear that at some point, I will peak or get so comfortable in my role that I lose the desire to grow. It is a season I just came out of. I was no longer challenged and internally lost my desire to move the ball forward. It was a horrible place to be as a leader.
Here is what I have learned with my jacked up view of fear. You can either run from it or lean into it. You can either throw your hands up in defeat or dig in deeper in facing it. You can either let it win or take a step today in changing the course. Fear is always going to be there poking its head up when we least expect it and certainly don’t need it. BUT, we have a choice and we have to own that choice. What will you choose today?!