As I grow in my faith I see and appreciate more and more what God is doing in me. I don’t forget where I came from honestly, because I never want to go back to that place. Many of you reading this blog know Chad’s story. As his wife I got a front row seat to the chaos and hurt that came with his choices. For a long time I allowed myself to be a victim.
Today I see it in a much different light. It was through all the horrible experiences that I lived with that I came to know Christ so how on earth could I ever act like a victim? At the time I couldn’t understand it but God was blessing me every step of the way. If not for everything my husband and I went through I would have never hit my knees and I would have a one way ticket to hell today.
When I came into recovery many people sympathized with me and loved on me and told me how sorry they were that I was going through what I was. Some of them had good intentions no doubt, but others secretly were enjoying the misery. Better me than them right? It took some time but eventually I surrounded myself with Godly people who understood me and did not think I was worthy of being treated in such a childish way. Boy, were they right! Prov. 27:6 tells us faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Once in recovery I had a group of people, Godly people who did not allow me to drown in self-pity. They called me out when I needed it and I thank God for them. They helped me grow, though my feelings may have been hurt at the time. They loved me enough to tell me I needed to take the next step. Who do you have that is willing to love you enough to tell you you’re drowning in self-pity and it’s time to move forward? See I thought I was the victim of others and their choices and that I wasn’t the one who needed the help. It was those Godly people that were willing to get raw and real with me that showed me I too was pretty messed up.
In recovery it is imperative that we surround ourselves with people who push us forward. Sure it is nice to have a sympathetic ear once in a while but if day in and day out we are struggling and our friends are calling or emailing to take care of us how do we get better? We don’t, we stay the same. Perhaps we need to find that someone who in a loving and kind way, tells us that it is time to pick ourselves up and get focused. We will never grow if we do not have a support system that pushes us to the next level. Prov 13:20 says that he who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
In recovery we do not need yes people. We need people who are telling us to build a bridge. Life stinks sometimes and it does for everyone. I have no idea what your story is or where you are at in life. What I do know, is that on my worst day I have eternity with my Heavenly Father so how can I be a victim of anyone or any circumstance? I can’t and I shouldn’t and I thank God for putting those people in my life who keep me focused on that. I appreciate when my friends and even my husband (though not necessarily at the time) call me out and tell me to get over it. Without the wisdom of the Godly people around me I would still be stuck and not moving forward. If you are saved, forward is the only direction you need to be focusing. Who do you have to help you get up right now wherever you are at? Find them and let’s start marching forward for the Kingdom!